Friday, November 5
it's the last day of the first week, and we've made it through alive! you know i still don't feel like it's o's or anything. i just took a longg 4 hour nap. maybe it was too long. now i'm too sleepy to do anything brainy. still have to start studying the three sciences. the last week is going to be tough. but it's tougher for you geog people. actually this week must have been torturous for some people.. i was thinking about it while the amath papers were being collected. for ppl doing science phys, pure hist, elect lit and amath.. they had something like 6 subjects in 4 days? i'm counting my blessings.. =)
piano lesson tmr.. feel a bit guilty. i never ever play the songs i'm supposed to.. okay except 'the homecoming'.. and after ten years she's figured out that i only play what i want to.. and treat the other songs like sight-reading. wonder if it's a reflection of how i treat things in real life. only do what i want to. ignore the unpleasant stuff. yeah, i guess it is. i blithely ignored amath for a couple of weeks til last night. and i have been blithely ignoring sciences too. come to think of it i didn't touch lit for a long time after prelims.. til a couple of days before the exams. but ss was such a letdown. i actually studied it, a chapter a day, for a week. bahh. see that's what happens when you study. you screw up by not opening your eyes to the question. i am an idiot. *bangs head against the table*
still not sure about what i wanna do. i only know.. i'm looking forward to 19 nov. i used to think i'd like more time to study but it makes no difference to me cos i'd still start only just before the paper. or forget everything anyway. so yeah 19 nov please come, i'm waiting.. i'm almost ready. i swear, i'm gonna go wild! do everything i've been putting off for 4 years. go back to beadwork. swim. paint my nails properly. try on mascara. stay up all night talking on the phone. damn i'm ready. and oh i'll get a haircut too. haven't had one since icf. three months is a longg time. sigh. the tips of my hair have been through so much with me.. in those three months.. so many things happened.. but to let go i must get rid of it. then i will be truly free. and maybe i'll feel more ready start anew.
i just thought of something. you are the rhyme to my reason. but i don't have much reason. maybe i should say that you are the reason to my rhyme cos i sometimes feel like i'm more concerned with rhyme than reason. see i don't even make sense. sigh. i have no reasoning. and i thought of something else. once i thought my chinese name was inappropriate. now i know it kinda makes sense. it means something to the effect of harmony. as in musical harmony. and i find myself picking out the harmony to songs quite a lot. i think harmonies are are beautiful as melodies! hee.
it must've been love.
4:08 pm
xoxo
